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Monday, January 16, 2012

The roots of Elder Abuse or Caregiver's Isolation in India?

‎"An instance of caregiver isolation", by Swapna Kishore on Swapna Writes Blog, January 12, 2012.

"We often hear of how we must love the patient, and if the patient is a parent, how we must love the parent as the parent loved us, and how we must do things for the parent as the parent did things for us. Yet there are assumptions here that no one questions, and situations where care is challenging because of problems caregivers cannot talk about."
"Now consider the situation where this abusive or drunkard spouse or parent gets dementia.It suddenly becomes the duty of the abused person to look after the person with dementia. A parent is to be looked after because he “brought you into the world” and “loved you”, a spouse because “after all, a spouse is all you have” and “pati dharam.”
"First, people ignored their problems saying it was a “family matter.” But later, when dementia strikes, people around abused persons often instruct them on what “families” are all about. “Learn to forgive,” someone says. “Do your karma gracefully,”, says another person others. “Be positive,” says a third. Easy words. The abused persons, thrust willy-nilly into caregiving, lack forums to express frustration and find peace because talk of the past bitterness is taboo. They are supposed to have forgiven/ forgotten/ become positive."

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