"what am I when there is no care recipient? " by Swapna Kishore from Swapna Writes.

"Disorientation, memories, adjustments, new realities: two weeks after my mother’s death".

"These last two weeks, since my mother died, have been busy in some ways, surreal in many. I am acutely aware of the spaces left empty by the death, spaces in my day, my mind, my feelings. I’ve been swinging between energetic bouts of work, apparent acceptance of my changed situation, sharp bursts of memories, confusion about my future, and total disorientation that hits my guts with a feeling that something’s horribly wrong. I’ve talked about my mother with more people in these two weeks than in the last few years; most of these interactions have been heart-warming, yet put together, been a heavy dose of socialization for an introvert like me. And I’ve kept myself moderately busy because I’m not sure I can handle too much emptiness.

It’s weird."....

"what am I when there is no care recipient? My usual “about me” text in various online profiles includes a clause “and a caregiver for a mother who has dementia.” This must be changed…to what?"


Link: http://swapnawrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/11/disorientation-memories-adjustments-new-realities-two-weeks-after-my-mothers-death/